The RITA/Golden Heart Awards Ceremony (being held on July 1st in New York City) is a lovely, glamorous red carpet affair. The occasion calls for a fancy dress and dressing up is something I always look forward to. Until I have to actually find the dress.
This summer’s conference will be my fourth trip to RWA Nationals and therefore marks my fourth attempt to acquire stylish evening wear. In past years I’ve met with varying degrees of success, where success is defined as “not looking like the biggest country bumpkin in the room.”
Interestingly, I have identified my four distinct phases of dress acquisition. They always occur in the same sequence and no phase is ever skipped. I share them with you so that you may learn from my mistakes. We start with . . .
The I’m-Sure-There’s-Something-in-my-Closet I Can Wear Phase. This phase is characterized mainly by delusions. Every year I seem to forget that my closet looks nothing like Jennifer Lopez’s. The closest thing to formal wear hanging in the corner is a black velvet New Year’s Eve gown circa 1993 (remember Elvira?) and . . . oh wait, that’s it. This leads me to shrug and enter . . .
The I’ll-Just-Borrow-a-Fabulous-Dress Phase. My well-meaning sister and sisters-in-law are horrible enablers during this phase. They generously offer up their own fashionable gowns, assuring me something will work, when they know full well that I’m a couple inches shorter than anyone in the family. After a period during which I seriously ponder the question of whether I might be adopted, I turn to . . .
The e-Bay Phase. I’m not proud of this. Well, I was a little proud of this. Whatever. The good news is that Bidding Fever is blessedly short-lived. When the cast-off prom gown for which I paid $18 arrives, I invariably realize that there is no help for it. I must be brave and face . . .
The Trying-On-Real-Dresses Phase. This phase is nothing like the whimsical portrayal in the movie 27 Dresses. No. This phase includes Dressing Rooms with 3-Way Mirrors and Fluorescent Lighting. It is the black moment, involving numerous trips to the racks, tugging, squeezing, and, all too often, ugly crying episodes. Then, just when it seems like hope is lost, I find a dress that’s, well . . . not awful. It could work. With the right shoes and jewelry. You know, it might be perfect.
Coming soon: The Obligatory Shoe Post
Friday, May 6, 2011
The Obligatory Dress Post, or "How Not to Find a Dress for RWA Nationals"
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6 comments:
Cute post, Anne. I know that whatever you wear to the Awards Ceremony will look super because you have style. And I can understand why this dress is so important. After all, you're a DOUBLE Golden Heart finalist whom I fully expect to see on the stage come July 1st.
Aw, thanks, Keli! It will be a good time regardless. Do you have a dress picked out? I loved yours from last year--very beautiful and classic!
So cute Anne - I'm in the Won A Dress For A Penny But The Store Only Has 2 "Formal" Gowns To Pick From phase. Really hoping this phase us up there with TORG phase
GOOD LUCK!
Bria, you won a dress for a PENNY? You are my hero. If one of those gowns worked out, it would be a great story . . . one to tell the grandchildren. ;)
Good luck to you too--it's an adventure.
This was a cute post. I found a dress a couple of weekends ago. I made the 2 1/2-hour trip to Phoenix and -- after a whole day of trying on dresses -- ended up with the first one I tried on in the first store I visited.
It's funny that you went with the first one you tried on, Arlene! But trying on the others was still good because now have peace of mind that it's the BEST. :)
Thanks for dropping by, GH sister!
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