Kick-off of the Writing Season

It's not pool openings or backyard barbeques that mark the beginning of summer for me. It's something more sinister: bad hair days.

A mere week ago I was content, if not enamored with, my hair; now it's a source of embarrassment. Flat irons, straightening products, and extra-hold hairspray are no match for 92% humidity. Like a wild animal, my hair cannot be controlled, only contained. That means I'm reduced to wearing a ponytail or even (oh, the shame!) a baseball cap.

But I digress. There's another reason I know it's summer. There's absolutely nothing on TV. How did we go straight from the gluttony of 2-hour season finales on all 3 major networks to . . . nothing? (OK, I do enjoy The Bachelorette, but one show a week is hardly enough to sustain me.)

The lack of fresh programming is a grim and alarming reality, but there is a silver lining. My TV intake has (albeit involuntarily) dropped from 10.5 hours a week to 1 hour, and that means I suddenly have 9.5 hours of "free time."

I could squander it on exercise, household chores, or yardwork, but I think we all know how unlikely that is. Did I mention the 92% humidity?

So I'm going to spend 8.5 hours of my newly-found free time in the non-pollen ridden, air-conditioned, UVB ray free confines of my office. Writing. *Sigh.* It sounds heavenly. Almost as perfect as a DVR full of never-watched episodes of 30 Rock.

In case you're wondering about the other hour . . . I'm wisely setting that aside. For hair-related emergencies.

Bathroom Wall Wisdom

On the cinderblock wall of the teachers' restroom, opposite the toilet and precisely at eye level, is a long, thin poster. Flourescent lights have faded its colors to tan and tired blue. A slightly groovy font hints that it's been serving time as bathroom reading material for at least a couple of decades.

The title of the poster is I've Learned That . . .

You should know, I normally resist this sort of well-meaning but highly annoying propoganda. I mean, can't a teacher get two and a half minutes of peace? But in spite of my determination to remain impervious, a few of the phrases seeped into my mind and lingered there. For whatever reason, they resonated with me. As a writer, a teacher, and a person.

They're simple and true, and I'll share them with you.

• I've learned that insults don't have the power to hurt us, unless we persist in remembering them.


• I've learned that optimists live longer than pessimists. That's why I'm an optimist.


• I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.


• I've learned that if you smile at someone, they'll almost always smile back.

Have any of these types of cheesy posters ever gotten to you? If so, please share!

Creating Heroes with Stamina

I'm starting to write a new book, and do you want to know what I love best? Dreaming up the hero. It's sort of like jumping back into the ultimate dating pool. Dark or fair? Noble or poor? Smooth-talking or stoic? *Sigh!* So many archetypes to choose from.

Oh, it's tempting to give him every desirable quality known to woman, but then the heroine would fall for him instantly, and the story would be over before I got to chapter two. So I've got to give him some flaws.

Don't worry, he's not going to be missing any teeth or have a beer belly--he'll definitely be sigh-worthy. But he might be stubborn, or blindly loyal, or tormented by his past (or all three). Whatever his weaknesses are, he'll have to overcome them.

"But this is fiction!" you say. "Why can't he be perfect?" Here are a few reasons we can't have a perfect hero:

• It's not realistic. Surely the lack of perfect men does not come as a complete shock. (But don't we love them in spite of their flaws? Or maybe because of them?) Indiana Jones' fear of snakes was endearing. In Swingers, Mike's bumbling way with women and his deplorable tendency to shirk dating norms was charming.


• We want to cheer for the hero as he fights his inner demons. Didn't you feel for Maximus (Russell Crowe) in Gladiator as he sought revenge for the death of his wife and child? The more tortured the hero, the more we're rooting for him.


• We want to watch the hero and heroine's relationship evolve. Having to overcome cultural differences (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) or time travel (Kate & Leopold) or some other obstacle makes falling in love so much sweeter, doesn't it?

So I'm giving my hero plenty to work on. He won't be perfect at the start of the story, but by the end he'll be absolutely perfect for my heroine. But before I get too far ahead of myself, I'd better think of a name for him . . .